This day, however, requires a footnote, as today marks five years since the debut of the first Geek Force, the Webcomic. And thus, the beginning of the site.
To mark this day, I've decided to post some basic, unpolished art for the upcoming series and about eighteen pages of script.
I've written quite a lot of scrips. As I keep writing regardless of where the comic stands, because the writing is the part I enjoy. I write every April and October, a half season. I'm up to Season Two Part Two(Yes, I only started this recently. When Rick was going, I didn't lack things to write.), and on Episode Twenty Five right now.
Here is some character art:
To be honest, these are the only actual characters for the comics I've modeled thus far. The rest are just test figures.
Now for the sets, made with Blender(ignore the funky colors, I intended to change them later.):
As you can see, things don't look nearly as good when I have to use a real modelling program. I might have to redo the couch to make it look like it's made of fabric. Also, those weird pink things are boxes. This set, actually for episode one, takes a scene from Issue 20 of the comic where it shows when Redphantom first moved to his house.
This is Redphantom's kitchen, which is better, but still not great.
Anyway, these images are still very rough. I'm going to eventually render them so that they are in 2D, and look stylized.
Hopefully this art is good enough to draw in more readers.
Now, saving the best for last, here is a fuckton of script pages ranging from episodes 1-23:
------------------------------------------------------------------
Boy
1, an overweight child at the age of ten hangs from the monkey bars
crying, Man 1, Boy 1's father, is watching him with a nonchalant
expression, eating a sub sandwich and holding a belt with one hand.
Man
1: Whips Boy 1 with his belt.
You
can get off the monkey bars when you've done three hundred pull ups,
lard ass.
Boy
1: Tears streaking down face.
My
arms are on fire.
Man
1: Whips Boy 1 with the belt again.
If
you don't lose twenty pounds by the end of this week, that new puppy
is going into the garbage disposal.
Man
1 laughs and takes out a cigarette, then lights it up and outs it in
his mouth, a SOD hits Man 1 in the upper torso and Man 1 falls to the
ground, Jew Avenger lands behind the monkey bars.
Jew
Avenger: Hands on hips.
Smoking
is forbidden in public parks.
Boy
1: Drops down from the monkey bars, looks mystified.
Can
I throw a shuriken at my dad?
Jew
Avenger: Rubs chin.
Does
your dad ever hit you hard enough to draw blood?
Boy
1: Looks uncomfortable.
Every
day.
Jew
Avenger: Leans in closer to Boy 1.
Has
your father ever touched your privates?
Boy
1: Embarrassed.
Yes.
Jew
Avenger: Holds out a SOD.
Go
ahead and take a shot at him.
Boy
1 takes the SOD and throws it at Man 1.
Jew
Avenger: Shakes head.
No,
no, that was a waste of a throw. You want to lean into it and try to
hit a ligament.
Man
1: Gets up and points at Jew Avenger.
I
hope you have a good lawyer, because I'm going to sue you into
poverty.
Jew
Avenger: Shrugs.
No
one's going to defend you.
Steps
forward and points at Man 1.
You
smoke in public places. And around kids.
Man
1: Points at Boy 1.
He's
my son, and I will smoke around him if I want to. That's my god given
right.
Points
to himself.
I
could bathe him in mercury and nobody better say a god damn thing,
because he's the end result of the collision of my sperm with an
ovum.
Steps
forward.
As
for this park.
Points
at the ground.
My
tax dollars pay for the wood chips you're standing on. So I'll smoke
here if I want. That's my god given right.
Jew
Avenger: Takes out a wad of one hundred dollar bills and hands it
to Man 1, then stares Man 1 down, shrugging.
I
just paid for all your medical bills. I guess that gives me the right
to break your face.
Jew
Avenger punches Man 1 in the face and then tackles him to the ground,
Jew Avenger gets up and kicks Man 1 three times before pulling Man 1
up and punching him five times, Jew Avenger then grabs Man 1 by his
feet and swings him horizontally into a tree back first, causing Man
1's back to snap as he screams in pain.
Jew
Avenger: Points at Man 1.
Put some thought
into it before you form philosophical views on the constitution and
articulate them into words, asshole. Read a text book.
Boy 1: Stands
staring at Jew Avenger with his mouth gaping open.
Are you a superhero?
Jew Avenger: Turns
to Boy 1 and shakes his head.
No, I'm with the
fire department. We're tasked with patrolling the parks and making
sure that no one smokes.
Boy 1: Frowns.
That sucks, because
if you were a superhero, I was going to ask you for your autograph.
Jew Avenger: Walks
over to Boy 1 and pats him on the head.
You don't have much
in the way of brains, do you?
Points
at Boy 1.
But, I'll tell you
what you do have: charm, moxie. I like that. How would you like to be
my sidekick?
Boy 1: Jumps up
and down.
Really?
Jew Avenger:
Squints.
Are you Jewish?
Boy 1: Looks
confused.
Uh, I believe that
Jesus invented pastrami.
Jew Avenger: Rubs
chin.
Ancient tradition
versus new age occultism...
Snaps
fingers.
Classic.
------------------------------------------------------------------
[Redacted]:
Holds up a flute.
Is
this a dowsing rod?
Pimp
Wizard: Narrows eyes.
No,
that's a flute.
[Redacted]:
Looks through the bag.
It
looks like Gunman only bought scientific devices.
Pimp
Wizard: Scoffs.
I
might just hide in a corner all night and read some of those
magazines.
Virus,
Jew Avenger, Pimp Wizard, Gunman, [Redacted], and [Redacted] begin
walking into the church.
[Redacted]:
Snorts.
They're
all boating magazines.
Pimp
Wizard: Looks at Gunman.
Why
would you only get boating magazines?
Virus,
Jew Avenger, Pimp Wizard, Gunman, [Redacted], and [Redacted] all
enter the church.
Gunman:
Shrugs.
Ghosts
are boring, old, and they walk around moaning. That means they'd be
good at fishing.
[Redacted]:
Looks around.
We
should kill the lights and use the candles and incense.
Jew
Avenger: Rolls eyes.
Then
lets play spin the bottle, do each other's nails, and gossip about
members of the opposite sex.
Gunman
walks over to the lights and turns them off, Pimp Wizard and
[Redacted] take out mechanized spray bottles and load them with
Necretine.
[Redacted]:
Goes through Gunman's bag of supplies.
Are
there any matches in here?
Gunman:
Shakes head.
I
guess I forgot the matches.
Jew
Avenger: Narrows eyes.
Does
that mean you bought flameless candles?
Gunman:
Scratches head.
No,
I just forgot the matches.
Pimp
Wizard and [Redacted] begin spraying the Necretine around the church.
Jew
Avenger: Takes out the Hanukkuh flamethrower.
I
have the perfect instrument to generate fire.
Gunman:
Waves hands.
I
don't think that's a good idea.
[Redacted]:
Creates a small spark on the tip of her finger, lighting some
incense.
I
got it.
Jew
Avenger: Sighs.
I
can't just whip out my flamethrower without setting something on
fire.
Jew
Avenger shoots a bench with his flamethrower as [Redacted] sets up
and lights candles and incense.
Gunman:
Points at Jew Avenger.
Admit
it, you were going to do that anyway.
Jew
Avenger: Nods.
Yeah, I was.
Virus: Looks at
the burning bench.
The ghost is a
sufficient scapegoat for this action.
Jew Avenger: Holds
up the flamethrower.
If I can just blame
the ghost, I'm going to burn down this entire building.
Pimp
Wizard points Natalie at the burning bench and shoots out a stream of
water, putting out the flame.
Pimp Wizard: Scoffs.
Do try to keep in
mind that we're supposed to be saving this place from ghost attacks.
Jew Avenger: Shrugs.
I'm just trying to
earn God a little bit of cash.
Gunman: Narrows
eyes.
By burning down his
house?
Jew Avenger: Points
at Gunman.
God is omnipotent.
Don't you think he would know his house was going to be burnt down
and thus take out a kickass insurance policy?
Gunman: Raises
index finger.
Wouldn't they get
God on fraud charges?
Jew Avenger: Waves
hand.
God is all knowing
and has unlimited resources. He would have a legal strategy in place
and a star team of lawyers to get out of it.
[Redacted]: Sniffs,
turning to Gunman.
Do we need to sue
the store, or did you deliberately get incense that smells like
rotten fish?
Gunman: Grins.
I deliberately got
incense that smells like rotten fish.
Pimp Wizard: Sniffs.
Where the hell would
you even get something like that?
Gunman: Shrugs.
A joke shop.
Jew Avenger: Narrows
eyes.
Why wouldn't you
just use real incense?
Gunman: Puts
hands on hips.
I didn't want it to
be like we were conducting a real ritual.
[Redacted]: Looks
around.
You know, this place
is kind of spooky.
Jew Avenger: Rolls
eyes.
Could it be spooky
because you just turned out all the lights and then lit candles and
incense?
[Redacted]: Eyes
widen.
I think there might
actually be a ghost in here.
Jew Avenger: Points
at [Redacted].
That's because your
eyes don't process dim light very well.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Redphantom: Sighs.
Don't tell me that
you think it's an alliance of Hollywood, the IRS, and seven foot tall
hominid lizards.
Teacher 1: Scowls.
There's this mad
scientist I saw lurking around just a few minutes ago. It can't be a
coincidence.
Gunman: Rolls
eyes.
That guy was
actually trying to help.
Teacher 1: Scoffs.
Help who? The robots
when they come here to make us all dance to techno music while
wearing parachute pants?
Redphantom: Raises
hand.
We'll look into the
scientist. Do you have any other leads?
Teacher 1: Nods.
I think that the
monster is a homeless person.
Gunman: Scoffs.
Just because the
homeless make houses out of newspapers doesn't make them monsters.
Teacher 1: Waves
hand.
No, I think that
monster is a homeless person because there was a hobo sleeping
outside for a couple of days.
Gunman: Narrows
eyes.
There was a homeless
person sleeping outside and you did nothing about it?
Teacher 1: Shrugs.
The science teachers
put ranch dressing on him to see if he would be eaten by ants.
Snaps
fingers and points at Gunman.
But, instead of
being eaten by ants, the ranch dressing turned him into a monster.
Redphantom: Sighs.
I don't think seeing
a homeless person and then seeing a monster later on in the same spot
means they're the same being.
Teacher 1: Throws
hands in the air.
I took pictures of
the transformation.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Jew Avenger: Rolls
eyes.
What are you doing,
[Redacted]?
[Redacted]: Stares
at Jew Avenger.
I'm not [Redacted].
I'm Ralph, a black man lynched by the KKK for trying to worship here
in 1918.
Gunman: Stands
up.
Hi Ralph, I'm Paul.
I'm one of the KKK members who lynched you and then shot himself soon
after.
Gunman
walks towards [Redacted].
[Redacted]: Jumps
off the bench.
Get away from me,
Paul.
[Redacted]
runs from Gunman, and Gunman chases her.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Jew Avenger: Puts
his hand on his forehead.
God damn it.
Pimp
Wizard, wearing his goggles and overcoat, is having sex with Woman 1
in a bed which is surrounded by curtains.
Redphantom(Voice):
Dude, turn up the volume.
Jew
Avenger(Voice): It's hard to find the volume button when the remote
is shaped like a dildo.
Gunman(Voice):
I think that is a dildo, not a remote.
Pimp
Wizard: What the fuck?
Pimp
Wizard ceases the fucking of Woman 1, grabs her bra, and then uses it
to tie his overcoat shut, then he steps out into the rest of the room
to find Redphantom, Jew Avenger, and Gunman watching the TV in the
room.
Pimp
Wizard: Guys? What are you doing here?
Redphantom:
It's time for our meeting.
Pimp
Wizard: Looks at the clock, which reads, “1:00”.
Damn,
it is.
Scratches
head.
I
guess I lost tack of time.
Woman
1(Voice): I told you we should have gone with vanilla sex.
Pimp
Wizard: Turns to the bed.
Bitch,
the only time I get vanilla is when I go to France.
Turns
to Redphantom, Jew Avenger, and Gunman, then looks at the dildo Jew
Avenger is holding.
That's
actually just dildo, not the remote.
Jew
Avenger: Throws the dildo to the ground.
Yeah,
I thought that was a little too fluid to be potato chip grease...
Redphantom
walks closer to the TV and leans in, Gunman tries to peer around him,
Pimp Wizard looks slightly embarrassed, Jew Avenger averts everyone
else's gaze and whistles, and then points to the bra.
Jew
Avenger: That's a cool belt you've got there.
Pimp
Wizard: Looks down at the bra.
Yeah...I
need to change...
Redphantom:
Continues to look at the TV.
Where
is the remote?
Pimp Wizard: Go and
watch the TV in the other room. I'm going to change.
------------------------------------------------------------------
[Redacted]:
Runs her finger down [Redacted]'s arm.
You
could say thank you.
[Redacted]:
For what?
[Redacted]:
Crosses her arms.
Well,
I did just save your life.
[Redacted]:
What? Look lady...
Points
his club at [Redacted].
I'm
wearing mech armor, that guy could have unloaded on me and it
wouldn't have mattered.
[Redacted]:
Takes [Redacted]'s club and inspects it.
Hmm...a
gun club, how cliché...
Tosses
the gun club aside, and then moves to inspect [Redacted]'s mech
armor.
[Redacted]:
Hey...
[Redacted]:
Oh, don't worry, I won't bite.
Continues
inspecting the armor and then moves to the front of [Redacted] to
face him.
You're
armor's really cliché, too.
[Redacted]:
My armorer wasn't available to make it...
[Redacted]:
You know what I think you need?
Snaps
her fingers.
A
mentor.
Extends
her arms with open hands.
You
could be my sidekick.
[Redacted]:
No way.
[Redacted]:
Grabs [Redacted] and runs her hands over his body.
Come
on. I'm a member of the Carcharians.
Wags
her index finger in front of [Redacted]'s face.
I'm
highly qualified and experienced you know. I'm not Louis Lane, I need
a sidekick to help me put on my makeup and do my hair.
[Redacted]:
Pushes [Redacted] away.
Look,
I think the Carcharians are great, but I've never even heard of you.
You're obviously a junior member. And even if you weren't, [Redacted]
works alone.
[Redacted]:
Rolls her eyes.
And
he's oh so macho to refer to himself in the third person.
[Redacted]: What's
that supposed to mean?
------------------------------------------------------------------
Molpadia: Pimp
Wizard needs a favor.
Jew Avenger: Rubs
his chin.
I knew I shouldn't
have accepted those sex coupons.
Molpadia: Waves
her hands.
It's nothing like
that. It's just, we helped you out a few days ago, so he was hoping
you would help him out with something.
Jew Avenger: I don't
think Pimp Wizard failing to catch a super villain qualifies as
helping me out.
Molpadia: It's not
our fault you didn't tell us that some invisible whack job was going
to be controlling the villain.
Jew Avenger: I find
it highly peculiar that an invisible nutcase just so happens to be
controlling a low life loser just when you need him to be competent.
Molpadia: What are
you implying?
Jew Avenger: I
didn't hear anything about whats-his-face in the news. And you claim
he abducted Ryan Chester? President of the largest locally owned bank
in Greenefield?
Molpadia: We told
you, the police are suppressing it in the news until they get some
leads. Your villain might be involved in a conspiracy to attack some
of Greenefield's elite.
Jew Avenger: Is he?
Or is it the gnomes? Abducting important leaders is part of the
gnomes' first stage of world domination. It's what they did to
Benazir Bhutto.
Molpadia
looks at Jew Avenger like he is crazy.
Just because their
plans are tiny doesn't mean they aren't deadly. They just have tiny
hands and tiny eyes. The paper isn't small because they have small
plans.
Narrows
his eyes.
It's because they're
small people. The font is so small you have to read it with a
magnifying glass. Plus it's written in Old Gaelic. I'm not sure which
one. No one is.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Vincentius:
Plagiarism. That dialogue is a quotation almost verbatim sourced from
the Son Wukong graphic novels.
Jew
Avenger: Yeah, and it shouldn't have worked. You never screamed.
Magic transformations only work if you scream.
Redphantom:
Heh. I wonder if you'll still respond with sarcasm once the tide of
the battle has turned.
Points
at Jew Avenger, and Jew Avenger is healed.
Jew
Avenger: You have healing powers now?
Redphantom:
Shrugs.
There's
no need for an undead being to cling to life energy, now is there?
Smirks.
Try
to keep up.
Jew Avenger: Points
at Agent 8.
I did not, but
people have told me it's closest you can get to enlightenment without
being a Buddhist.
Agent 9: Is there a
place I can see this on the Internet?
Jew Avenger: Rubs
chin.
That depends, which
Internet? It's not on the Blue Internet. Or the Green one. But it is
on the Black Internet, and it might be on the Purple one, too. It's
all over the Orange Internet.
Points
at Agent 9 and shakes his head.
That's the Internet
for Gnomes. It was invented in 1693, by Gill Bates, the great cyborg
gnome. And they use it to look at naked humans, they use it to look
at naked humans.
Squints.
And they don't like
it.
Leans
in and whispers.
The gnomes
manufacture syphilis.
Gestures
with his hands.
Which they pack into
tiny capsules. Tiny capsules that they make with their tiny hands and
little hats. They don't have shoes. That's because their sticky gnome
hairs would fuse the shoes to their fuzzy little feet.
Jew
Avenger checks to see if anyone is listening before leaning in
further.
The gnomes put the
syphilis capsules in packets of mustard when no one is looking.
That's why I use soy sauce instead.
Agent 9: Pushes
Jew Avenger away.
Ok, I don't want to
see waving molely blob porn anymore.
Jew Avenger: Crosses
his arms.
Then that makes you
a Innatist.
Gestures
with his index finger.
It was a test of
morals, but it was also true.
Squints
and leans closer to Agent 9.
It was also true.
Everything I just said actually happened, but some of it might have
taken place in a universe parallel to this one.
Agent 8: Ok...sir, I
don't think you need to be attending this conference.
Agent
95H walks up to Agents 8 and 9, and Jew Avenger.
Agent 95H: Nonsense,
we need someone as crazy as this guy.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Gunman: Hello, sir
or ma'am. Are you wondering why insert detailed description of
monster here is destroying your house, neighborhood, city, or town?
It's because you live in a society, insert country name here, that
represses sexual freedoms. Like insert hot button gay issue here. The
only way you can survive is to agree to have sex with insert your
name here, and insert names of your partners here. That's us. Smile
broadly.
Pause.
Pimp Wizard: He's
new.
Pause.
Anyway, this snake
is pissed because you repress your sexual urges.
Woman 1: That's
funny, because that guy.
Points
to Onopolis talking to Man 1 and Woman 2.
Told me it's because
I am a whore. And because of the decadence of modern society which is
filled with sin.
Pimp Wizard: What?
Pimp
Wizard walks up to Onopolis, Gunman and Hurly follow him.
Pimp Wizard: What
the hell is this?
Onopolis: Greetings
leprechaun, I am Onopolis. A prophet from God. This monster is
destroying your fair city because it's become a cesspool of sex and
violence. Never fear, if you wear this.
Holds
up a chastity belt.
The beast shall
spare you. It costs a measly $15.99.
Pimp Wizard: What?
How can you even say we live in a sinful society? We are one of the
most repressed and timid generations of Americans in years. And
that's why the monster is destroying us. It's the ice beam shooting
snake of our pimp lore.
Onopolis: I believe
you will find, simpleton, that the beast shoots lightning and not
ice.
Pimp Wizard: The ice
is just a metaphor for the snakes ability to freeze it's victims in
fear...it works.
Onopolis: Indeed,
plebeian, it does work. However, our lore of the lightning shooting
lizard.
Holds
up a picture of a lizard shooting lightning out of it's eyes.
Works far better.
Pimp Wizard: That
doesn't look anything like the giant monster attacking the town.
Gunman: It was
probably drawn thousands of years ago, Pimp Wizard, you can't expect
it to be completely accurate.
Pimp Wizard: Pimp
slaps Gunman.
Hoe! Shut your
mouth!
Onopolis: The midget
does have a valid point.
Pimp Wizard: Ok, I'm
getting really tired of all the weird insults. And look, does your
prophecy say lightning shooting lizard?
Onopolis: Yes,
indeed it does, pansy pants.
Pimp Wizard: That's
not a lizard, it's a snake.
Onopolis: It's the
same thing.
Pimp Wizard: No, it
isn't.
Onopolis: Oh, but it
is, foolish one, the snake is the one who tempted Adam and Eve, and
for that it had it's arms and legs removed.
Pimp Wizard: That's
retarded. And does your gospel mention the snake being able to shoot
acid out of it's mouth?
Onopolis: No.
Pimp Wizard: Why
not? That's pretty important information.
Onopolis: Your
gospel didn't mention it either did it, heretic?
Pimp Wizard: It said
it would ooze venomous lies from it's mouth...which is a metaphor for
deadly acid. I just didn't understand the metaphors because I am
small compared to the pimp god.
Onopolis: That's
quite a stretch, charlatan.
Man
3 walks up.
Man 3: You're both
wrong! It's a monster from the book of Revelations. JESUS!
Pimp Wizard: There
isn't a...
Superheroes
1-3 run up.
Superhero 1: It's a
monster of genocide created by the humans to wipe us off the face of
the planet!
Woman
3 and 4, and Man 4 run up.
Woman 3: Bullshit!
It's a beast created by you superhumans to kill off us humans once
and for all.
Hurly: This is going
to get out of hand, isn't it?
Gunman: It's already
out of hand.
Man
5 stumbles up to the group.
Man 5: It's because
I had sex with a goat. The monster is a bastard child of me and the
goat.
Pause.
Onopolis: It seems
we have a problem, laymen, and there is only one way we can resolve
it...we must fight each other to the death. Whosoever wins, their god
must be the one true god.
Jumps
at Pimp Wizard with a knife, Pimp Wizard artfully dodges and then
throws a few punches, more people come in for the different factions
and they all begin to fight.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Pimp
Wizard: Did that other wizard just fly past us on a broomstick?
Redphantom:
Yep.
Pimp
Wizard: Who the hell rides a broomstick? Hasn't he ever heard of
cars?
Jew
Avenger: Well, he is a wizard.
Pimp
Wizard: I'm a wizard.
Jew
Avenger: Yeah, but you're also a pimp. You can't ride around on a
broomstick. It's a major turnoff for the ladies.
Redphantom:
I'll bet Caedmon never gets laid. He's so far behind the times. It
shows a lack of intelligence and that's a turnoff. He should be
riding a wet swiffer. That's much more current.
Jew
Avenger: Or a cleaning robot.
Redphantom:
Well yeah, if he wants to be ahead of the times.
Jew Avenger: They
already have those. Someone is behind the times. Someone doesn't get
much action.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Mechadeus: Man, this
bathroom is filthy.
Starts
to pee, looks at the gas mask on the wall.
You don't need a gas
mask, you need some soap.
Sparkey
drops down from the ceiling on a rope into the stream of Mechadeus's
urine.
Sparkey: PEE ON ME!
Smiles
and spins around on the rope while being peed on.
Mechadeus: Oh my
god!
Sparkey: PEE ON ME!
Continues
smiling and spinning.
Mechadeus: I'm
sorry, I didn't know you were playing mission impossible.
Sparkey: JACK ME
OFF!
Laughs,
smiles, and spins.
Mechadeus: What the
hell?
Sparkey: Continues
spinning and smiling.
I FEEL DIZZY!
Vomits
while continuing to spin.
------------------------------------------------------------------
In
the deli, a butcher is handing over meat to a costumer, Jew Avenger
tackles him, take the meat and throws the meat at a container of
lobsters, Jew Avenger goes over to the lobsters, takes out his knife
and unties their hands.
Jew
Avenger: How do I take on a criminal mastermind?
SW2
walks over to Jew Avenger.
SW2:
Sir, what are you doing?
Jew
Avenger: I freed you from death row. Tell
me how to approach taking down a criminal mastermind.
SW2: Sir, you
can't...
Lobster
1 chops off SW2's finger, the rest of the lobsters attack SW2.
Jew Avenger: Of
course, that makes perfect sense, I should chop him into tiny bits.
Runs
back towards where the Purple Man was, but Old Woman 1 is in his
place.
Damn it, he got
away...or did he? What are the odds that an old lady would walk up to
where he was and examine the same piece of pork in the same position
as he was in just a short amount of time?
Pause.
SHAPESHIFTER!
Runs
up to Old Woman 1 and punches her, then takes the ham and beats her
to the ground with it, then he throws the ham to the ground.
This seems to be
just an old lady...which means...this guy must be able to teleport
too...of course, that's brilliant. Shapeshift into innocent people,
teleport away, teleport them back, and then have the superheroes beat
up innocents to discredit them. This guy is such a genius. I must
stay strong and keep my nerve.
Runs
out near the checkout lanes, behind him, the Purple Man is in the
cereal aisle looking for food, Jew Avenger looks around.
I've got to look for
something suspicious...
Points
to Girl 1.
Why are you looking
at pornography?
Girl 1: It's for my
dad...
Jew Avenger: You
really are a genius...except at alibis!
Flies
at Girl 1 and punches her, she flies into the wall.
God damn it, he
teleported again. That monster...
Runs
around the store looking at the costumers, stops at the alcohol
section, points to Man 1.
Trying to make
moonshine?
Beats
Man 1, runs around the store, stops at Man 2, buying icecream.
Buying icecream?
That's good for making up with your wife after an argument. You know,
by giving her icecream? It goes good with stolen diamonds!
Beats
up Man 2, runs up to Woman 2, Boy 2, and Girl 2, Woman 2 is buying a
TV dinner, Jew Avenger takes the TV dinner.
Planning on using
this to synthesize poison to coerce foreign diplomats?
Hits
Woman 2 over the head with the TV dinner, then he beats up her and
Boy and Girl 2, Jew Avenger runs over to the next aisle and up to Man
3(who is college aged) buying frozen pizza.
Pizza is good food
isn't it? It's especially good to eat while you're running from the
authorities!
Punches
Man 3 then takes the pizza from him and beats him with it, Jew
Avenger runs around some more and then goes up to Man 4(an old man)
buying cheese.
Purchasing food for
your genetically enhanced army of super rats?
Beats
up Man 4, runs up to Woman 3, who is holding a loaf of bread.
Abductors feed their
victims toast!
Takes
the loaf of bread and beats Woman 3 with it, Jew Avenger runs up to
Man 5 who is holding cookies, Jew Avenger creeps up behind him and
leans in towards his head.
(Whispering) Buying
some cookies to hide drugs in so that you can sell them to children?
Man
5 turns around with a confused look on his face, Jew Avenger beats
him up, Jew Avenger runs down the canned food aisle, then he backs up
and goes up to Man 6, who is holding a can of chili.
Getting used to
Mexican food for when you have to flee the country?
Takes
out his sword and slices the can in half spewing chili everywhere,
then he takes more cans and beats up Man 6 with them, Jew Avenger
runs down the aisle slashing all the cans and spewing their contents
everywhere, he beats up Women 4 and 5 and Man 7 as he goes, Jew
Avenger puts his sword away, Jew Avenger runs into the spices aisle
next, he sees Woman 6 buying minced garlic, Jew Avenger runs up to
her.
Why do you need
garlic? Are you afraid that the bodies in your crawlspace will
attract vampires?
Beats
up Woman 6, Jew Avenger runs around some more and then runs up to Man
8 who is buying marshmallows.
Are you planning on
camping in the woods? To escape the police?
Beats
up Man 8, Jew Avenger runs around, ending up in the office supplies
section, Woman 7 looks at pens and paper.
Are you going to
write some ransom notes?
Takes
a package of pens, opens them, and then uses one to stab Woman 7
repeatedly, then he runs off but comes back, opens some paper, gives
Woman 7 a paper cut, and then runs off again, Jew Avenger runs up to
Girl 3 looking at bubble gum.
Want to look like a
cool super villain, but too health conscious to use chewing tobacco?
Beats
up Girl 3, takes out his sword and chops up all the packages of
bubble gum, spewing gum everywhere, flies over to the bottled water
section, gets a bunch of it, brings it back to the gum, cuts open the
water causing it to fall on the gum and then punches the gum to make
it sticky, Man 9 runs up to Jew Avenger and tries to punch him, Jew
Avenger throws him into the gum, then Jew Avenger throws SW 3-6 into
the gum when they approach try to stop him, then Jew Avenger runs up
to Boy 3 and throws him into the gum,
God, he can teleport
even inside chewing gum...that monster.
Jew
Avenger runs into the soda aisle, stopping at Man 10 holding a six
pack of one litter sodas.
You could shake that
soda so much the cap shoots off and puts someone's eye out.
Takes
the six pack, cuts one of the bottles off and then shakes it up
causing the cap to come off and put Man 10's eye out, Jew Avenger
beats him up and then slashes the soda bottles and cans with his
sword, making soda go everywhere, Jew Avenger runs into the chips
aisle where Woman 8 is holding chips.
You can use potato
chips to commit acts of arson!
Beats
up Woman 8, runs up to Boy 4 who is holding cottage cheese, takes it
from him and pours it down his pants.
It's hard for
hostages to escape with cottage cheese in their pants.
Beats
up Boy 4, Jew Avenger runs up to Woman 9 standing next to Girl 4,
Woman 9 is holding a gallon of milk.
Why do you need
strong bones? Are you planning on fighting superheroes?
Slams
Woman 9 into freezer where the milk is contained then beats up Girl
4, Jew Avenger runs around some more before ending up in the paper
plates aisle, runs up to Woman 10 who is holding paper plates.
Trying to destroy
the environment by polluting it with Styrofoam?
Beats
up Woman 10, takes the plates, opens them, throws them and then hits
them with his flamethrower so that flaming plates are going
everywhere, runs down the aisle, turns to Man 11, who is holding
toilet paper.
Only super villains
use one ply!
Punches
Man 11 into the toilet paper, runs around and then stops for a
moment.
What would I steal
if I had already stolen a bunch of donuts...
Flies
into the air, using his sword to chop some light fixtures off of the
ceiling as he goes before landing in the coffee aisle, Jew Avenger
beats up Man 12 and Woman 11, then Men 13-15, and Women 12-17 before
generally destroying the coffee aisle, Jew Avenger runs around some
more, seeing Man 16 with donuts.
You just couldn't
get enough could you?
Beats
up Man 16, Jew Avenger runs around some more before turning to the
cereal aisle and seeing the Purple Man, Jew Avenger walks up to
Purple Man.
I'll bet you think
you're clever, don't you? I'll bet you thought I'd never know it was
you if you assumed your normal form...
Purple
Man: Turns
to Jew Avenger.
What's up dude? It
sure is a nice day isn't...
Jew
Avenger: Punches
Purple Man, beats him, then takes the cereal box and beats him with
it some more, the box breaks open, the cereal and a prize from the
box fly through the air, Jew Avenger grabs the prize.
You won a prize!
Uses
the prize to gouge the Purple Man's eye out, then beats him to the
ground, Redphantom runs into the aisle with his gun drawn.
There you are. Hopefully by this time next year, the comic will be out. Hopefully sooner than that.
I'll try and keep the site updated with information.
No comments:
Post a Comment