Sunday, February 3, 2013

Site Update

Greetings to everyone who still visits this webpage despite it being devoid of content right now. This is Redphantom here, dropping in to give an update on the status of the site.
Firstly, I must address my last posting. I promised to upload a ranting shortly after it was posted. I did not, and I apologize for that. The months after Rick, I was burned out on doing creative work which carried a deadline. I'm still unsure as to my abilities on this front, so this time I will promise no such update. I am very busy, currently, and enjoying being back to getting unhealthy amounts of sleep and barely being able to function as a human being.

How can I be so busy when I haven't updated the site in six months? That's a good question. My next project has a much longer lead time than our previous ones. I have stayed mum about it because I'm not sure it will go through, and I'm still not sure how long it will take to produce.

The next project the site will host will be the rebooted Geek Force, the Webcomic. I am taking time to make sure that this time the art is up to par, which was a major weakness of the first Geek Force. I am also trying to find a schedule that will be realistic enough to enable the comic to be released to deadline this time. I'm confident that if the comic can overcome these weaknesses it can be more successful than the first Geek Force, the Webcomic.

When Geek Force returns, it will be in installments that are 20-26 pages long, and will be released in “Seasons” Season One Part One has been in production for about three weeks now(Before that I was writing a half a season) but due to me being new at some of the software involved, production is going agonizingly slow. I was gunning for an April 2013 release to mark the fifth anniversary of the site, but it now looks more like Geek Force will be released in Fall or Winter of 2013.

This is not a guarantee of anything. I am not sure if Geek Force will make it through. My big obstacle now is speeding up the process.

The art for the new comic will be done via DAZ Studio and Blender. DAZ to make the characters, and Blender to make the props, settings, and certain character accessories. Then GIMP is being used to convert the art to 2D, and for post effects. I'm still new at DAZ and Blender. I think I can 3D model well enough to make the art up to par. I've been encouraged thus far by the early results.

Hopefully, in a couple of weeks or so, I will have enough art finished I can post some of it. Until then, I will try to keep the site updated with my progress.

Obi Wan Kenobi is a Badass

Recently, when I was visiting with relatives, we were sitting around, watching TV as good American families do, and the original Star Wars just happened to be on. I was astonished. It had been so long since I'd seen the film and my memories had been so tainted by the prequel trilogy that it was like watching the movie for the first time. I had forgotten had good it was. It made me remember the reason why I owned Star Wars toys as a child. Why I had owned the movies on VHS.

I kid you not, after this viewing, I went out and bought the complete saga on Blu Ray. In 2015, it won't be complete any longer, and it has blinking Ewoks, Han Solo not shooting first, and Darth Vader ruining the end of the trilogy by screaming, but that's a detail. Even despite all of Lucas's attempts to make the originals sync better to the new movies(by making them suck), the first three movies remain good and timeless.
I was especially taken aback by Obi Wan Kenobi. I was at this point so used to the Obi Wan of the prequels that I forgot how much of a total badass he is in the first movie. As opposed to the new movies where Obi Wan comes off like a bubbling idiot, the original Obi Wan seems like a retired war veteran. You could see him stomping some ass. In fact, he does, he chops that guy's arm off. Obi Wan also has the creepiest smile. It's like the smile a man has when his best friend catches ass raping a goat. He's cool. When he dies, you actually care.

That got me thinking: if there's anyone who should be ruining Start Wars, it's this guy. Obi Wan is the perfect man to smash your childhood memories. That's why Obi Wan needs his own spinoff. What follows is my pitch for such a series:

The main premise is, of course, that Obi Wan roams around Mos Eisley banging prostitutes and doing drugs. Obi Wan is also always borrowing money from the Rebel Alliance under the pretense of using it in secret missions. Really though, Obi Wan just spends it on drugs.

In one episode, a drug dealer comes to collect money Obi Wan owes him. Obi Wan tells the drug dealer that he received money based on his products merit and that ditch weed is a path to the dark side of the force. Obi Wan then proceeds to chop off the drug dealer's arm while giggling. “In the land of midgets, the one armed man is king.” Obi Wan muses before walking away.

Any time Obi Wan has sex with a woman, he ends it by telling her that attachment is forbidden to his religion. Then Obi Wan leaves. Obi Wan is also constantly giving children advice telling them, “Your father wanted you to have this.” before giving them lightsabers.

There would also be an episode where Obi Wan captures several Ewoks and starts an underground Ewok fighting ring. Placing bets on which Ewok would win.

Then there would also be an episode where Obi Wan is talking to a character whilst getting high and suddenly decides that the character would make a perfect action figure. As though the reason the character was created was to sell toys. Then Obi Wan would spend the rest of the episode making and selling toys of various characters. Before his business tanks at the end because another company made the same toys with better articulation.

There would also be an episode where Obi Wan finds Ewan McGregor and beats his ass for making him look foolish. McGregor tries to talk Obi Wan out of it, citing karma, but Obi Wan tells McGregor that karma does not serve those who succumb to the lame side of the force. McGregor tells Obi Wan that the force only has a light side and a dark side, no lame side. But, Obi Wan explains that the force is not a coin, it is a dodecahedron, possessing twelve different states of being. Then Obi Wan slices off Mcgregor's arm, and Hayden Christensen cries about it.

Finally, there would be a crossover episode with Dr. Seuss. The premise is that Obi Wan drops acid and then enters the home of a few children thinking that he is the Cat in the Hat.

And there's my pitch to destroy Star Wars once and for all, but in a way that doesn't suck quite so much as when Lucas or Disney does it.