Thursday, November 19, 2009

Xenpsychous's List(Ten things that are pissing me off)

This is my list of ten things in the news lately that have me pissed off. I was going to type a list of my ten favorite types of fictitious fairies, then I remembered I'm a bitter bastard who hates everything. Children and the sound of laughter most of all.

10. Oxford Dictionary tries to decide which should be the word of the year: unfriend and defriend?: Apparently tweeters and Facebookers have nothing better to do than bitch at Oxford for taking the word unfriend over the more popular defriend. I'll admit, defriend has a nice ring to it, but I ask the question: since when are dictionaries supposed to be hip? Never. You have the English language in your hands. Use the word that is less hip, and has less of a ring to it.
Read it here.

9. Sarah Palin releases Going Rogue: I didn't know Sarah Palin read, let alone write a book. I do know one thing for sure, Sarah Palin knows how to Lie

8. Obama's Education: Call the pope, Obama really is Jesus, he created an education plan worse than George Bush's, and that is a miracle.

7. Michael Jackson Accuser commits suicide: Yawn. Present me with real news, please. Read it here

6. People Magazine Chooses Sexiest Men Alive: These guys only remind me of why I can't get any. On the other hand...they provide a good smokescreen for my shortcomings. Good job.

5. Army Suicides: Soldiers go crazy, some kill themselves, some kill others. Perhaps America should look into this. Maybe it's because we're trying to take away their fucking smokes.

4. World Hunger Hits One Billion: Shit, shit, if you think there are too many McDonald's now, just wait until they realize the opportunity and start opening them in Ethiopia. Stop this atrocity and donate to combat world hunger.

3. Healhcare: At this point, they may as well just send every American a gun and some bullets, and then tell them to go to shooting ranges. They wouldn't want to miss when they get a terminal illness and have their one exit from our shitty healthcare system fail. On the plus-side, all the business for shooting ranges would stimulate the economy.

2. Afghanistan: Maybe we should stay there? Just to prove to Al Queda that America isn't trying to conquer the Middle East and is thus, not worth of attacking.

1. Climate Change: Unless we do something by 2020, we're all royally fucked, yet the leaders of the world are putting off action for another day. If we don't act now, the hippies will come back, not to protest or change the world, but because we'll all need the drugs.

No comments:

Post a Comment