This day, however, requires a footnote, as today marks five years since the debut of the first Geek Force, the Webcomic. And thus, the beginning of the site.
To mark this day, I've decided to post some basic, unpolished art for the upcoming series and about eighteen pages of script.
I've written quite a lot of scrips. As I keep writing regardless of where the comic stands, because the writing is the part I enjoy. I write every April and October, a half season. I'm up to Season Two Part Two(Yes, I only started this recently. When Rick was going, I didn't lack things to write.), and on Episode Twenty Five right now.
Here is some character art:
To be honest, these are the only actual characters for the comics I've modeled thus far. The rest are just test figures.
Now for the sets, made with Blender(ignore the funky colors, I intended to change them later.):
As you can see, things don't look nearly as good when I have to use a real modelling program. I might have to redo the couch to make it look like it's made of fabric. Also, those weird pink things are boxes. This set, actually for episode one, takes a scene from Issue 20 of the comic where it shows when Redphantom first moved to his house.
This is Redphantom's kitchen, which is better, but still not great.
Anyway, these images are still very rough. I'm going to eventually render them so that they are in 2D, and look stylized.
Hopefully this art is good enough to draw in more readers.
Now, saving the best for last, here is a fuckton of script pages ranging from episodes 1-23:
Boy 1, an overweight child at the age of ten hangs from the monkey bars crying, Man 1, Boy 1's father, is watching him with a nonchalant expression, eating a sub sandwich and holding a belt with one hand.
Man 1: Whips Boy 1 with his belt.
You can get off the monkey bars when you've done three hundred pull ups, lard ass.
Boy 1: Tears streaking down face.
My arms are on fire.
Man 1: Whips Boy 1 with the belt again.
If you don't lose twenty pounds by the end of this week, that new puppy is going into the garbage disposal.
Man 1 laughs and takes out a cigarette, then lights it up and outs it in his mouth, a SOD hits Man 1 in the upper torso and Man 1 falls to the ground, Jew Avenger lands behind the monkey bars.
Jew Avenger: Hands on hips.
Smoking is forbidden in public parks.
Boy 1: Drops down from the monkey bars, looks mystified.
Can I throw a shuriken at my dad?
Jew Avenger: Rubs chin.
Does your dad ever hit you hard enough to draw blood?
Boy 1: Looks uncomfortable.
Jew Avenger: Leans in closer to Boy 1.
Has your father ever touched your privates?
Boy 1: Embarrassed.
Jew Avenger: Holds out a SOD.
Go ahead and take a shot at him.
Boy 1 takes the SOD and throws it at Man 1.
Jew Avenger: Shakes head.
No, no, that was a waste of a throw. You want to lean into it and try to hit a ligament.
Man 1: Gets up and points at Jew Avenger.
I hope you have a good lawyer, because I'm going to sue you into poverty.
Jew Avenger: Shrugs.
No one's going to defend you.
Steps forward and points at Man 1.
You smoke in public places. And around kids.
Man 1: Points at Boy 1.
He's my son, and I will smoke around him if I want to. That's my god given right.
Points to himself.
I could bathe him in mercury and nobody better say a god damn thing, because he's the end result of the collision of my sperm with an ovum.
As for this park.
Points at the ground.
My tax dollars pay for the wood chips you're standing on. So I'll smoke here if I want. That's my god given right.
Jew Avenger: Takes out a wad of one hundred dollar bills and hands it to Man 1, then stares Man 1 down, shrugging.
I just paid for all your medical bills. I guess that gives me the right to break your face.
Jew Avenger punches Man 1 in the face and then tackles him to the ground, Jew Avenger gets up and kicks Man 1 three times before pulling Man 1 up and punching him five times, Jew Avenger then grabs Man 1 by his feet and swings him horizontally into a tree back first, causing Man 1's back to snap as he screams in pain.
Jew Avenger: Points at Man 1.
Put some thought into it before you form philosophical views on the constitution and articulate them into words, asshole. Read a text book.
Boy 1: Stands staring at Jew Avenger with his mouth gaping open.
Are you a superhero?
Jew Avenger: Turns to Boy 1 and shakes his head.
No, I'm with the fire department. We're tasked with patrolling the parks and making sure that no one smokes.
Boy 1: Frowns.
That sucks, because if you were a superhero, I was going to ask you for your autograph.
Jew Avenger: Walks over to Boy 1 and pats him on the head.
You don't have much in the way of brains, do you?
Points at Boy 1.
But, I'll tell you what you do have: charm, moxie. I like that. How would you like to be my sidekick?
Boy 1: Jumps up and down.
Jew Avenger: Squints.
Are you Jewish?
Boy 1: Looks confused.
Uh, I believe that Jesus invented pastrami.
Jew Avenger: Rubs chin.
Ancient tradition versus new age occultism...
[Redacted]: Holds up a flute.
Is this a dowsing rod?
Pimp Wizard: Narrows eyes.
No, that's a flute.
[Redacted]: Looks through the bag.
It looks like Gunman only bought scientific devices.
Pimp Wizard: Scoffs.
I might just hide in a corner all night and read some of those magazines.
Virus, Jew Avenger, Pimp Wizard, Gunman, [Redacted], and [Redacted] begin walking into the church.
They're all boating magazines.
Pimp Wizard: Looks at Gunman.
Why would you only get boating magazines?
Virus, Jew Avenger, Pimp Wizard, Gunman, [Redacted], and [Redacted] all enter the church.
Ghosts are boring, old, and they walk around moaning. That means they'd be good at fishing.
[Redacted]: Looks around.
We should kill the lights and use the candles and incense.
Jew Avenger: Rolls eyes.
Then lets play spin the bottle, do each other's nails, and gossip about members of the opposite sex.
Gunman walks over to the lights and turns them off, Pimp Wizard and [Redacted] take out mechanized spray bottles and load them with Necretine.
[Redacted]: Goes through Gunman's bag of supplies.
Are there any matches in here?
Gunman: Shakes head.
I guess I forgot the matches.
Jew Avenger: Narrows eyes.
Does that mean you bought flameless candles?
Gunman: Scratches head.
No, I just forgot the matches.
Pimp Wizard and [Redacted] begin spraying the Necretine around the church.
Jew Avenger: Takes out the Hanukkuh flamethrower.
I have the perfect instrument to generate fire.
Gunman: Waves hands.
I don't think that's a good idea.
[Redacted]: Creates a small spark on the tip of her finger, lighting some incense.
I got it.
Jew Avenger: Sighs.
I can't just whip out my flamethrower without setting something on fire.
Jew Avenger shoots a bench with his flamethrower as [Redacted] sets up and lights candles and incense.
Gunman: Points at Jew Avenger.
Admit it, you were going to do that anyway.
Jew Avenger: Nods.
Yeah, I was.
Virus: Looks at the burning bench.
The ghost is a sufficient scapegoat for this action.
Jew Avenger: Holds up the flamethrower.
If I can just blame the ghost, I'm going to burn down this entire building.
Pimp Wizard points Natalie at the burning bench and shoots out a stream of water, putting out the flame.
Pimp Wizard: Scoffs.
Do try to keep in mind that we're supposed to be saving this place from ghost attacks.
Jew Avenger: Shrugs.
I'm just trying to earn God a little bit of cash.
Gunman: Narrows eyes.
By burning down his house?
Jew Avenger: Points at Gunman.
God is omnipotent. Don't you think he would know his house was going to be burnt down and thus take out a kickass insurance policy?
Gunman: Raises index finger.
Wouldn't they get God on fraud charges?
Jew Avenger: Waves hand.
God is all knowing and has unlimited resources. He would have a legal strategy in place and a star team of lawyers to get out of it.
[Redacted]: Sniffs, turning to Gunman.
Do we need to sue the store, or did you deliberately get incense that smells like rotten fish?
I deliberately got incense that smells like rotten fish.
Pimp Wizard: Sniffs.
Where the hell would you even get something like that?
A joke shop.
Jew Avenger: Narrows eyes.
Why wouldn't you just use real incense?
Gunman: Puts hands on hips.
I didn't want it to be like we were conducting a real ritual.
[Redacted]: Looks around.
You know, this place is kind of spooky.
Jew Avenger: Rolls eyes.
Could it be spooky because you just turned out all the lights and then lit candles and incense?
[Redacted]: Eyes widen.
I think there might actually be a ghost in here.
Jew Avenger: Points at [Redacted].
That's because your eyes don't process dim light very well.
Don't tell me that you think it's an alliance of Hollywood, the IRS, and seven foot tall hominid lizards.
Teacher 1: Scowls.
There's this mad scientist I saw lurking around just a few minutes ago. It can't be a coincidence.
Gunman: Rolls eyes.
That guy was actually trying to help.
Teacher 1: Scoffs.
Help who? The robots when they come here to make us all dance to techno music while wearing parachute pants?
Redphantom: Raises hand.
We'll look into the scientist. Do you have any other leads?
Teacher 1: Nods.
I think that the monster is a homeless person.
Just because the homeless make houses out of newspapers doesn't make them monsters.
Teacher 1: Waves hand.
No, I think that monster is a homeless person because there was a hobo sleeping outside for a couple of days.
Gunman: Narrows eyes.
There was a homeless person sleeping outside and you did nothing about it?
Teacher 1: Shrugs.
The science teachers put ranch dressing on him to see if he would be eaten by ants.
Snaps fingers and points at Gunman.
But, instead of being eaten by ants, the ranch dressing turned him into a monster.
I don't think seeing a homeless person and then seeing a monster later on in the same spot means they're the same being.
Teacher 1: Throws hands in the air.
I took pictures of the transformation.
Jew Avenger: Rolls eyes.
What are you doing, [Redacted]?
[Redacted]: Stares at Jew Avenger.
I'm not [Redacted]. I'm Ralph, a black man lynched by the KKK for trying to worship here in 1918.
Gunman: Stands up.
Hi Ralph, I'm Paul. I'm one of the KKK members who lynched you and then shot himself soon after.
Gunman walks towards [Redacted].
[Redacted]: Jumps off the bench.
Get away from me, Paul.
[Redacted] runs from Gunman, and Gunman chases her.
Jew Avenger: Puts his hand on his forehead.
God damn it.
Pimp Wizard, wearing his goggles and overcoat, is having sex with Woman 1 in a bed which is surrounded by curtains.
Redphantom(Voice): Dude, turn up the volume.
Jew Avenger(Voice): It's hard to find the volume button when the remote is shaped like a dildo.
Gunman(Voice): I think that is a dildo, not a remote.
Pimp Wizard: What the fuck?
Pimp Wizard ceases the fucking of Woman 1, grabs her bra, and then uses it to tie his overcoat shut, then he steps out into the rest of the room to find Redphantom, Jew Avenger, and Gunman watching the TV in the room.
Pimp Wizard: Guys? What are you doing here?
Redphantom: It's time for our meeting.
Pimp Wizard: Looks at the clock, which reads, “1:00”.
Damn, it is.
I guess I lost tack of time.
Woman 1(Voice): I told you we should have gone with vanilla sex.
Pimp Wizard: Turns to the bed.
Bitch, the only time I get vanilla is when I go to France.
Turns to Redphantom, Jew Avenger, and Gunman, then looks at the dildo Jew Avenger is holding.
That's actually just dildo, not the remote.
Jew Avenger: Throws the dildo to the ground.
Yeah, I thought that was a little too fluid to be potato chip grease...
Redphantom walks closer to the TV and leans in, Gunman tries to peer around him, Pimp Wizard looks slightly embarrassed, Jew Avenger averts everyone else's gaze and whistles, and then points to the bra.
Jew Avenger: That's a cool belt you've got there.
Pimp Wizard: Looks down at the bra.
Yeah...I need to change...
Redphantom: Continues to look at the TV.
Where is the remote?
Pimp Wizard: Go and watch the TV in the other room. I'm going to change.
[Redacted]: Runs her finger down [Redacted]'s arm.
You could say thank you.
[Redacted]: For what?
[Redacted]: Crosses her arms.
Well, I did just save your life.
[Redacted]: What? Look lady...
Points his club at [Redacted].
I'm wearing mech armor, that guy could have unloaded on me and it wouldn't have mattered.
[Redacted]: Takes [Redacted]'s club and inspects it.
Hmm...a gun club, how cliché...
Tosses the gun club aside, and then moves to inspect [Redacted]'s mech armor.
[Redacted]: Oh, don't worry, I won't bite.
Continues inspecting the armor and then moves to the front of [Redacted] to face him.
You're armor's really cliché, too.
[Redacted]: My armorer wasn't available to make it...
[Redacted]: You know what I think you need?
Snaps her fingers.
Extends her arms with open hands.
You could be my sidekick.
[Redacted]: No way.
[Redacted]: Grabs [Redacted] and runs her hands over his body.
Come on. I'm a member of the Carcharians.
Wags her index finger in front of [Redacted]'s face.
I'm highly qualified and experienced you know. I'm not Louis Lane, I need a sidekick to help me put on my makeup and do my hair.
[Redacted]: Pushes [Redacted] away.
Look, I think the Carcharians are great, but I've never even heard of you. You're obviously a junior member. And even if you weren't, [Redacted] works alone.
[Redacted]: Rolls her eyes.
And he's oh so macho to refer to himself in the third person.
[Redacted]: What's that supposed to mean?
Molpadia: Pimp Wizard needs a favor.
Jew Avenger: Rubs his chin.
I knew I shouldn't have accepted those sex coupons.
Molpadia: Waves her hands.
It's nothing like that. It's just, we helped you out a few days ago, so he was hoping you would help him out with something.
Jew Avenger: I don't think Pimp Wizard failing to catch a super villain qualifies as helping me out.
Molpadia: It's not our fault you didn't tell us that some invisible whack job was going to be controlling the villain.
Jew Avenger: I find it highly peculiar that an invisible nutcase just so happens to be controlling a low life loser just when you need him to be competent.
Molpadia: What are you implying?
Jew Avenger: I didn't hear anything about whats-his-face in the news. And you claim he abducted Ryan Chester? President of the largest locally owned bank in Greenefield?
Molpadia: We told you, the police are suppressing it in the news until they get some leads. Your villain might be involved in a conspiracy to attack some of Greenefield's elite.
Jew Avenger: Is he? Or is it the gnomes? Abducting important leaders is part of the gnomes' first stage of world domination. It's what they did to Benazir Bhutto.
Molpadia looks at Jew Avenger like he is crazy.
Just because their plans are tiny doesn't mean they aren't deadly. They just have tiny hands and tiny eyes. The paper isn't small because they have small plans.
Narrows his eyes.
It's because they're small people. The font is so small you have to read it with a magnifying glass. Plus it's written in Old Gaelic. I'm not sure which one. No one is.
Vincentius: Plagiarism. That dialogue is a quotation almost verbatim sourced from the Son Wukong graphic novels.
Jew Avenger: Yeah, and it shouldn't have worked. You never screamed. Magic transformations only work if you scream.
Redphantom: Heh. I wonder if you'll still respond with sarcasm once the tide of the battle has turned.
Points at Jew Avenger, and Jew Avenger is healed.
Jew Avenger: You have healing powers now?
There's no need for an undead being to cling to life energy, now is there?
Try to keep up.
Jew Avenger: Points at Agent 8.
I did not, but people have told me it's closest you can get to enlightenment without being a Buddhist.
Agent 9: Is there a place I can see this on the Internet?
Jew Avenger: Rubs chin.
That depends, which Internet? It's not on the Blue Internet. Or the Green one. But it is on the Black Internet, and it might be on the Purple one, too. It's all over the Orange Internet.
Points at Agent 9 and shakes his head.
That's the Internet for Gnomes. It was invented in 1693, by Gill Bates, the great cyborg gnome. And they use it to look at naked humans, they use it to look at naked humans.
And they don't like it.
Leans in and whispers.
The gnomes manufacture syphilis.
Gestures with his hands.
Which they pack into tiny capsules. Tiny capsules that they make with their tiny hands and little hats. They don't have shoes. That's because their sticky gnome hairs would fuse the shoes to their fuzzy little feet.
Jew Avenger checks to see if anyone is listening before leaning in further.
The gnomes put the syphilis capsules in packets of mustard when no one is looking. That's why I use soy sauce instead.
Agent 9: Pushes Jew Avenger away.
Ok, I don't want to see waving molely blob porn anymore.
Jew Avenger: Crosses his arms.
Then that makes you a Innatist.
Gestures with his index finger.
It was a test of morals, but it was also true.
Squints and leans closer to Agent 9.
It was also true. Everything I just said actually happened, but some of it might have taken place in a universe parallel to this one.
Agent 8: Ok...sir, I don't think you need to be attending this conference.
Agent 95H walks up to Agents 8 and 9, and Jew Avenger.
Agent 95H: Nonsense, we need someone as crazy as this guy.
Gunman: Hello, sir or ma'am. Are you wondering why insert detailed description of monster here is destroying your house, neighborhood, city, or town? It's because you live in a society, insert country name here, that represses sexual freedoms. Like insert hot button gay issue here. The only way you can survive is to agree to have sex with insert your name here, and insert names of your partners here. That's us. Smile broadly.
Pimp Wizard: He's new.
Anyway, this snake is pissed because you repress your sexual urges.
Woman 1: That's funny, because that guy.
Points to Onopolis talking to Man 1 and Woman 2.
Told me it's because I am a whore. And because of the decadence of modern society which is filled with sin.
Pimp Wizard: What?
Pimp Wizard walks up to Onopolis, Gunman and Hurly follow him.
Pimp Wizard: What the hell is this?
Onopolis: Greetings leprechaun, I am Onopolis. A prophet from God. This monster is destroying your fair city because it's become a cesspool of sex and violence. Never fear, if you wear this.
Holds up a chastity belt.
The beast shall spare you. It costs a measly $15.99.
Pimp Wizard: What? How can you even say we live in a sinful society? We are one of the most repressed and timid generations of Americans in years. And that's why the monster is destroying us. It's the ice beam shooting snake of our pimp lore.
Onopolis: I believe you will find, simpleton, that the beast shoots lightning and not ice.
Pimp Wizard: The ice is just a metaphor for the snakes ability to freeze it's victims in fear...it works.
Onopolis: Indeed, plebeian, it does work. However, our lore of the lightning shooting lizard.
Holds up a picture of a lizard shooting lightning out of it's eyes.
Works far better.
Pimp Wizard: That doesn't look anything like the giant monster attacking the town.
Gunman: It was probably drawn thousands of years ago, Pimp Wizard, you can't expect it to be completely accurate.
Pimp Wizard: Pimp slaps Gunman.
Hoe! Shut your mouth!
Onopolis: The midget does have a valid point.
Pimp Wizard: Ok, I'm getting really tired of all the weird insults. And look, does your prophecy say lightning shooting lizard?
Onopolis: Yes, indeed it does, pansy pants.
Pimp Wizard: That's not a lizard, it's a snake.
Onopolis: It's the same thing.
Pimp Wizard: No, it isn't.
Onopolis: Oh, but it is, foolish one, the snake is the one who tempted Adam and Eve, and for that it had it's arms and legs removed.
Pimp Wizard: That's retarded. And does your gospel mention the snake being able to shoot acid out of it's mouth?
Pimp Wizard: Why not? That's pretty important information.
Onopolis: Your gospel didn't mention it either did it, heretic?
Pimp Wizard: It said it would ooze venomous lies from it's mouth...which is a metaphor for deadly acid. I just didn't understand the metaphors because I am small compared to the pimp god.
Onopolis: That's quite a stretch, charlatan.
Man 3 walks up.
Man 3: You're both wrong! It's a monster from the book of Revelations. JESUS!
Pimp Wizard: There isn't a...
Superheroes 1-3 run up.
Superhero 1: It's a monster of genocide created by the humans to wipe us off the face of the planet!
Woman 3 and 4, and Man 4 run up.
Woman 3: Bullshit! It's a beast created by you superhumans to kill off us humans once and for all.
Hurly: This is going to get out of hand, isn't it?
Gunman: It's already out of hand.
Man 5 stumbles up to the group.
Man 5: It's because I had sex with a goat. The monster is a bastard child of me and the goat.
Onopolis: It seems we have a problem, laymen, and there is only one way we can resolve it...we must fight each other to the death. Whosoever wins, their god must be the one true god.
Jumps at Pimp Wizard with a knife, Pimp Wizard artfully dodges and then throws a few punches, more people come in for the different factions and they all begin to fight.
Pimp Wizard: Did that other wizard just fly past us on a broomstick?
Pimp Wizard: Who the hell rides a broomstick? Hasn't he ever heard of cars?
Jew Avenger: Well, he is a wizard.
Pimp Wizard: I'm a wizard.
Jew Avenger: Yeah, but you're also a pimp. You can't ride around on a broomstick. It's a major turnoff for the ladies.
Redphantom: I'll bet Caedmon never gets laid. He's so far behind the times. It shows a lack of intelligence and that's a turnoff. He should be riding a wet swiffer. That's much more current.
Jew Avenger: Or a cleaning robot.
Redphantom: Well yeah, if he wants to be ahead of the times.
Jew Avenger: They already have those. Someone is behind the times. Someone doesn't get much action.
Mechadeus: Man, this bathroom is filthy.
Starts to pee, looks at the gas mask on the wall.
You don't need a gas mask, you need some soap.
Sparkey drops down from the ceiling on a rope into the stream of Mechadeus's urine.
Sparkey: PEE ON ME!
Smiles and spins around on the rope while being peed on.
Mechadeus: Oh my god!
Sparkey: PEE ON ME!
Continues smiling and spinning.
Mechadeus: I'm sorry, I didn't know you were playing mission impossible.
Sparkey: JACK ME OFF!
Laughs, smiles, and spins.
Mechadeus: What the hell?
Sparkey: Continues spinning and smiling.
I FEEL DIZZY!
Vomits while continuing to spin.
In the deli, a butcher is handing over meat to a costumer, Jew Avenger tackles him, take the meat and throws the meat at a container of lobsters, Jew Avenger goes over to the lobsters, takes out his knife and unties their hands.
Jew Avenger: How do I take on a criminal mastermind?
SW2 walks over to Jew Avenger.
SW2: Sir, what are you doing?
Jew Avenger: I freed you from death row. Tell me how to approach taking down a criminal mastermind.
SW2: Sir, you can't...
Lobster 1 chops off SW2's finger, the rest of the lobsters attack SW2.
Jew Avenger: Of course, that makes perfect sense, I should chop him into tiny bits.
Runs back towards where the Purple Man was, but Old Woman 1 is in his place.
Damn it, he got away...or did he? What are the odds that an old lady would walk up to where he was and examine the same piece of pork in the same position as he was in just a short amount of time?
Runs up to Old Woman 1 and punches her, then takes the ham and beats her to the ground with it, then he throws the ham to the ground.
This seems to be just an old lady...which means...this guy must be able to teleport too...of course, that's brilliant. Shapeshift into innocent people, teleport away, teleport them back, and then have the superheroes beat up innocents to discredit them. This guy is such a genius. I must stay strong and keep my nerve.
Runs out near the checkout lanes, behind him, the Purple Man is in the cereal aisle looking for food, Jew Avenger looks around.
I've got to look for something suspicious...
Points to Girl 1.
Why are you looking at pornography?
Girl 1: It's for my dad...
Jew Avenger: You really are a genius...except at alibis!
Flies at Girl 1 and punches her, she flies into the wall.
God damn it, he teleported again. That monster...
Runs around the store looking at the costumers, stops at the alcohol section, points to Man 1.
Trying to make moonshine?
Beats Man 1, runs around the store, stops at Man 2, buying icecream.
Buying icecream? That's good for making up with your wife after an argument. You know, by giving her icecream? It goes good with stolen diamonds!
Beats up Man 2, runs up to Woman 2, Boy 2, and Girl 2, Woman 2 is buying a TV dinner, Jew Avenger takes the TV dinner.
Planning on using this to synthesize poison to coerce foreign diplomats?
Hits Woman 2 over the head with the TV dinner, then he beats up her and Boy and Girl 2, Jew Avenger runs over to the next aisle and up to Man 3(who is college aged) buying frozen pizza.
Pizza is good food isn't it? It's especially good to eat while you're running from the authorities!
Punches Man 3 then takes the pizza from him and beats him with it, Jew Avenger runs around some more and then goes up to Man 4(an old man) buying cheese.
Purchasing food for your genetically enhanced army of super rats?
Beats up Man 4, runs up to Woman 3, who is holding a loaf of bread.
Abductors feed their victims toast!
Takes the loaf of bread and beats Woman 3 with it, Jew Avenger runs up to Man 5 who is holding cookies, Jew Avenger creeps up behind him and leans in towards his head.
(Whispering) Buying some cookies to hide drugs in so that you can sell them to children?
Man 5 turns around with a confused look on his face, Jew Avenger beats him up, Jew Avenger runs down the canned food aisle, then he backs up and goes up to Man 6, who is holding a can of chili.
Getting used to Mexican food for when you have to flee the country?
Takes out his sword and slices the can in half spewing chili everywhere, then he takes more cans and beats up Man 6 with them, Jew Avenger runs down the aisle slashing all the cans and spewing their contents everywhere, he beats up Women 4 and 5 and Man 7 as he goes, Jew Avenger puts his sword away, Jew Avenger runs into the spices aisle next, he sees Woman 6 buying minced garlic, Jew Avenger runs up to her.
Why do you need garlic? Are you afraid that the bodies in your crawlspace will attract vampires?
Beats up Woman 6, Jew Avenger runs around some more and then runs up to Man 8 who is buying marshmallows.
Are you planning on camping in the woods? To escape the police?
Beats up Man 8, Jew Avenger runs around, ending up in the office supplies section, Woman 7 looks at pens and paper.
Are you going to write some ransom notes?
Takes a package of pens, opens them, and then uses one to stab Woman 7 repeatedly, then he runs off but comes back, opens some paper, gives Woman 7 a paper cut, and then runs off again, Jew Avenger runs up to Girl 3 looking at bubble gum.
Want to look like a cool super villain, but too health conscious to use chewing tobacco?
Beats up Girl 3, takes out his sword and chops up all the packages of bubble gum, spewing gum everywhere, flies over to the bottled water section, gets a bunch of it, brings it back to the gum, cuts open the water causing it to fall on the gum and then punches the gum to make it sticky, Man 9 runs up to Jew Avenger and tries to punch him, Jew Avenger throws him into the gum, then Jew Avenger throws SW 3-6 into the gum when they approach try to stop him, then Jew Avenger runs up to Boy 3 and throws him into the gum,
God, he can teleport even inside chewing gum...that monster.
Jew Avenger runs into the soda aisle, stopping at Man 10 holding a six pack of one litter sodas.
You could shake that soda so much the cap shoots off and puts someone's eye out.
Takes the six pack, cuts one of the bottles off and then shakes it up causing the cap to come off and put Man 10's eye out, Jew Avenger beats him up and then slashes the soda bottles and cans with his sword, making soda go everywhere, Jew Avenger runs into the chips aisle where Woman 8 is holding chips.
You can use potato chips to commit acts of arson!
Beats up Woman 8, runs up to Boy 4 who is holding cottage cheese, takes it from him and pours it down his pants.
It's hard for hostages to escape with cottage cheese in their pants.
Beats up Boy 4, Jew Avenger runs up to Woman 9 standing next to Girl 4, Woman 9 is holding a gallon of milk.
Why do you need strong bones? Are you planning on fighting superheroes?
Slams Woman 9 into freezer where the milk is contained then beats up Girl 4, Jew Avenger runs around some more before ending up in the paper plates aisle, runs up to Woman 10 who is holding paper plates.
Trying to destroy the environment by polluting it with Styrofoam?
Beats up Woman 10, takes the plates, opens them, throws them and then hits them with his flamethrower so that flaming plates are going everywhere, runs down the aisle, turns to Man 11, who is holding toilet paper.
Only super villains use one ply!
Punches Man 11 into the toilet paper, runs around and then stops for a moment.
What would I steal if I had already stolen a bunch of donuts...
Flies into the air, using his sword to chop some light fixtures off of the ceiling as he goes before landing in the coffee aisle, Jew Avenger beats up Man 12 and Woman 11, then Men 13-15, and Women 12-17 before generally destroying the coffee aisle, Jew Avenger runs around some more, seeing Man 16 with donuts.
You just couldn't get enough could you?
Beats up Man 16, Jew Avenger runs around some more before turning to the cereal aisle and seeing the Purple Man, Jew Avenger walks up to Purple Man.
I'll bet you think you're clever, don't you? I'll bet you thought I'd never know it was you if you assumed your normal form...
Purple Man: Turns to Jew Avenger.
What's up dude? It sure is a nice day isn't...
Jew Avenger: Punches Purple Man, beats him, then takes the cereal box and beats him with it some more, the box breaks open, the cereal and a prize from the box fly through the air, Jew Avenger grabs the prize.
You won a prize!
Uses the prize to gouge the Purple Man's eye out, then beats him to the ground, Redphantom runs into the aisle with his gun drawn.
There you are. Hopefully by this time next year, the comic will be out. Hopefully sooner than that.
I'll try and keep the site updated with information.